The book, by Patrick Frank
How to Get on the Same Page About Everything That Matters
$9.99ebook: EPUB and PDF
The talks couples keep putting off, from date nights and chores to money, family and intimacy, in Patrick’s honest, funny and unfiltered words. The companion to The Couples Contract.
Why read it
Not a lecture and not a quiz: one person’s honest take on what couples should talk about, and why it’s easier to do it early.
Money, chores and family tend to come up mid-argument. Each chapter makes the case for talking them through early, while it’s still easy.
Patrick isn’t a therapist and doesn’t pretend to be. It’s real stories, strong opinions and plenty of jokes, with the research cited where it helps.
From date nights and social media to moving in, money, religion and pets. Read it front to back, or jump to whatever’s coming up for you two.
It’s the companion to The Couples Contract: read up on a topic, then talk it through in the Contract and sign what you agree on.
What’s inside
About 51,000 words: first the why, then a chapter for each big topic, from date nights to pets, then a send-off.
PrefaceFree sample
Who Patrick is, why he wrote this, and fair warning: it’s fun, and it’s also work.
Chapter 1: The Business of RelationshipsFree sample
Dating apps, first impressions, and why relationships don’t seem to last like they used to.
Chapter 2: What Are You Actually Reading?Free sample
What a contract really is, and why writing things down beats hoping you agree.
Chapter 3: Relationship Principles
The ground rules: honesty, communication, trust, kindness, individuality and more.
Chapter 4: Date Nights
Why date nights fizzle, how to keep them going, and a list of ideas to steal.
Chapter 5: Communication
Listening, empathy, body language and texting, and why a talk isn’t a contest.
Chapter 6: Social Media
Posting, privacy, exes and screen time: what to agree on before it’s a problem.
Chapter 7: Time Together
How little time couples really spend together, and how to make more of it.
Chapter 8: Responsibilities
Chores, bills and the daily stuff, before “I’ll do it later” turns into a fight.
Chapter 9: Vacations
Planning trips together, from the budget to who does the work.
Chapter 10: Fitness and Hygiene
The awkward one: hygiene, fitness and how to bring them up kindly.
Chapter 11: Family and Friends
Balancing your partner with the people who were there first.
Chapter 12: Recreationals
Drinks and other substances: agreeing on how you two like your fun.
Chapter 13: Moving In
The big step, and what to settle before you share a lease.
Chapter 14: Moving Away
Long distance, and how to make it work when life pulls you apart.
Chapter 15: Finances
Spending, saving and splitting, and the money fights worth avoiding.
Chapter 16: Religion
Faith, family expectations and respecting what you each believe.
Chapter 17: Pet Ownership and Care
Who walks the dog, who pays the vet, and who keeps the cat.
Chapter 18: Intimacy Appendix18+
For adults: desire, chemistry and trying new things together.
Chapter 19: A Different Definition of Love
Patrick’s definition of love, and what a strong relationship looks like.
Fair warning · for adults
Patrick writes the way he talks, so there’s strong language throughout, and Chapter 18, the Intimacy Appendix, is for adults only. Plus a list of sources at the back, for every study and survey the book cites.
Take a look inside
The PDF is 210 pages at 5.5 by 8.5 inches, laid out like a printed book. The EPUB fits itself to your screen, from a phone to an e-reader.
About the author
Patrick wrote contracts for a living, then made WhoIs?, the card game for couples, and played it with couples of every kind. Along the way he noticed that even couples who’d been together for years got simple questions about each other wrong. This book is what came of that.
He isn’t a counselor or a coach, and he says so up front. What he brings is honesty, a lot of jokes and the stories to go with them.
I guess if we were trying to give credentials, mine would fall more into the bucket of real-life experience.
Who it’s for
Read it on your own, or out loud to each other. Skip what doesn’t fit your life.
Before the habits set in: dates, phones, friends and how you each like your fun.
Chores, bills, the lease and the pets, talked through before the boxes are unpacked.
Money, family, faith and the long run, while it’s still a conversation and not a negotiation.
A nudge to revisit the things you settled long ago, and the ones you never did.
Free sample
The preface and Chapters 1 and 2, about 9,000 words on 37 pages. Enter your email and the download appears right here.
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The whole book
$9.99one price, EPUB and PDF
For adults: strong language throughout, and one 18+ chapter.
FAQ
Keep going
Alex & Sam
Your contract
$29
per couple
Digital · 21 sections · together or apart
$14
printable PDF
Printable PDF · 10 parts · 353 questions